Often partners meet somewhere in the middle. The one who wants more often respects the efforts of a partner who needs less. Sometimes you have to agree to sex without much desire, but if the quality suits you, then the appetite can come with eating. Another case is recovery from a sexual trauma, where the help of specialists is most often needed. How to meet in the middle of your temperaments?
If you want more…
1. Pay attention to the emotional connection
Those who do not really want sex sometimes complain that the partner needs only “this”, and not feelings and emotions at all. But in love, all components are important!
2. Stop complaining
Complaints, threats, pressure have the opposite effect – the desire disappears completely. It is important to communicate respectfully and not lead to conflict. If this is not possible, seek couples therapy.
3. Take matters into your own hands
Literally. Taking care of yourself is important. In addition, with self-satisfaction, sexual tension is relieved and – in part – the desire to put pressure on a partner.
4. Get back to dating
Perhaps the relationship lacks romance, as at first, and the partner misses that time. Come up with an unusual date, write him a letter, make sure that his eyes literally light up.
5. Assess your needs realistically
Make sure that the point is that you just want sex more often. Or maybe you use it to cope with anxiety or some life events?
If you want less…
1. Check your health
First of all, the hormonal background. For example, if a man has low testosterone, he really will not often want sex (however, like a woman). And it can be fixed.
2. Check your medications
What medications are you taking? Birth control pills, antidepressants, antihistamines, blood pressure, pain and hangover pills, beta-blockers – this is not a complete list of drugs that can reduce libido. Sometimes a slight change, agreed with a doctor, changes a life.
3. Set the mood
Read erotic literature, fantasize, watch porn – do whatever excites you. Sometimes a short story about sex, read at night, requires you to wake up your partner and indulge in sexual pleasures.
4. Have sex
With a partner. Herself. The more it is, the more you want it. If you have not had sex for a long time, testosterone levels decrease. With it, desire disappears. Set a goal for yourself, like having sex twice a week for a month, and see what changes. Let it be part of your life plan, and your libido will grow unnoticed by you!