“13 years ago I got divorced and was single for a while. Once I met a man in a cafe and went to him for sex for one night. This was my first BDSM experience.

I got carried away by this, began to search for information, read books, make friends who are interested in BDSM. First, I became a professional “bottom”, and then I studied the behavior of a dominatrix.

I learned how to discuss desires, how to understand and appreciate the intentions of a partner. A lot depends on openness and mutual trust! Here are some of my thoughts on this.

Do you want passionate sex? Ask your partner what turns them on. Discussions are very important, because during the conversation you agree, for example, to obey and embody the most daring fantasies.

For all clients, I have prepared a list of desires, sexual games and restrictions. During sex, he lies nearby. Make your lists, discuss them, make changes and new ideas.

Ordinary sex is also worth discussing: new positions, light fantasies, touches. All this will help you understand each other better.

Another important point is the stop word. Many people think that it is enough to say “stop” or “no”, but these words are often part of the game, which causes confusion. Some people find it difficult to say “no” to their partner. Therefore, it is better to choose a neutral word or use the “traffic light principle”, where green means “go on”, yellow means “slow down”, red means “stop”.

In BDSM, the word “play” is used. It doesn’t necessarily mean sex, it’s adult playtime. You can think of anything: for example, one eats dinner with his mouth from a bowl, like a dog, and the other licks the first drop of sauce from his face.

Turning a bedroom into a playroom is not so difficult. Remove all unnecessary, create a mood with pillows, soft light and comfortable temperature, turn on pleasant music. For example, I love silence and darkness – it is then that other senses awaken. I can smell his skin, his breath – all this creates an unforgettable atmosphere.

You can also set a timer for 15 minutes so as not to play too much, but this is optional. In BDSM there is no such goal as orgasm, it is about mutual pleasure.

So, you agreed on everything, came up with a safe word and chose roles. And then he asks you to do something you didn’t agree on. If you are against it and he knows, refuse! Protect your opinion. In addition, it is much more pleasant to communicate with a respectful partner who does not try to violate the boundaries set with such difficulty.

This is one of the most enjoyable moments. We discuss what we liked the most and what we didn’t like. You can end the session in many ways: just cuddle, get a massage, come up with a plan for the next time.