Here are some phrases from the inner voice:
“You look awful when you’re naked.”
“Your breasts are too big (or small).”
“You are too old.”
“He’ll see how awful you look.”
For many people, this inner voice prevents them from having sex. They begin to think about themselves, about their partner, about how terrible everything is, they think that they are doing everything wrong.
Of course, sex ceases to be a pleasure, communication with a partner is broken. Is there any way to deal with this? Yes! Here are some winning strategies.
1. Write down all the bad thoughts
Write down on a piece of paper all the negative thoughts that are associated with your sexuality. Your body, skills, partner, sex itself – whatever. State in the third person: “She does not move well in bed” – as if someone said it.
2. Don’t be influenced by him
If disturbing thoughts arise frequently, you get used to them and consider them critical opinion from the outside. For example, if in the previous step you got to the phrase “Good girls don’t like sex,” your own mother could well have said it many years ago. Many opinions are formed in the past and have an impact on the present.
3. Answer his attacks
Try talking to yourself. To the words “You are strange”, answer: “I am strange when I listen to this nonsense, but in general I am a wonderful person.”
4. Find out your relationship to sex
Try not to rely on the opinion of the inner critic. Think about what you really like about sex. Remember all the good times and what it means to rejoice.
5. Talk to a partner
In a good relationship, there is a place for such stories. Complain how the inner voice interferes with your sexuality. By telling him about your feelings, you help your partner get to know yourself better and understand how and why you behave the way you do. In the future, try to pay attention to your feelings, and not to what the critic whispers to you.