This idea began with the fact that one evening we met with friends. Christina complained about a successful 32-year-old lover: they say that in a year of relationship everything went wrong, not right, and not even there. “I don’t want to have sex! yelled a friend to the whole bar, in awe of the guys at the next table. “Well, that is, I want to, but not with Maxim.” But six months ago, she confidentially informed us that she had the best sex in her life with this man. It turns out that if you constantly eat marzipans, you can feel sick much faster than black bread. While drinking Sex on the Beach (here it is, a bitter irony), I gloomily reflected that for a year now I have been returning home to almost my husband and by all available means I have been trying to avoid monotonous sex and heartbreaking cunnilingus, more like medieval torture. I love a man, but I don’t know how to tell him that sex is only getting worse every month. And when the next morning in the editorial office I was offered to go to the lesson “How to teach a man to have sex” at the training center “SEX.RF”, I decided that this was God’s business.
On Friday, I am rushing down Chayanov Street in excitement, and the thought of a brave new world knocks in my head. The new world greets me with a closed door, however, opened at the first call. I notice everywhere signs exclaiming “No men!” At the insistence of the staff, I leave the phone in the locker. Probably, none of the visitors wants to see themselves on YouTube with a rubber dick in their mouth, diligently mastering the “deep throat”. From the check-in desk I am directed to the room with the romantic name “Air”. Here, girls sit on rugs and pillows, drink champagne and chat, and all of them are noticeably older than me. A miniature blonde of 35 years old is attached to the pouf in front of us: “Hello, my name is Natalya. I am a psychologist-sexologist and sex coach of the training center. Who do you think can teach your man how to have sex properly?” she asks a question in the hall. And then she answers him: “Only you yourself.” According to the coach, in sex with us, men broadcast the experience that they received with other women. They are sure that the formula for success is strong and long, they are told that if these criteria coincide, a woman gets maximum pleasure from sexual intercourse. And if a man has a big dick, then you don’t need to wish for anything at all. Got it – and she beats in ecstasy. Removed – she beats in hysterics. Here’s what men think about our orgasm. It is difficult to teach them good sex, not because they do not want to develop, but because they have no incentive to do so. The male brain does not perceive the information that its owner is far from being a sex god, because twenty previous mistresses voiced the exact opposite thought to him, hoping to keep him close. And why change something, if everything is fine anyway? In general, we ourselves are to blame: we endure what does not bring joy, simply out of fear of hurting the gentle male ego. The fear is true, but action must be taken. The first rule of any sex teacher is: “No educational conversations.” Men are more afraid of the words “serious conversation” and “problem” than the term “impotence”, and the former can easily cause the latter. Another important rule: they are big children, they can only be interested in erotic play. Excitement is the engine of progress. When a man is on fire with desire, it is easier to convince him to try something new in sex. Surely, each couple already has well-established scenarios for experiments, and if a couple has formed recently or for some unknown reason simply missed the stage of mutual knowledge, proven techniques will come to the rescue.
34% of women surveyed by the SEX.RF training center are convinced that the role of an innovator in sex belongs to them, and 14% believe that a man teaches them new things.
Game of strip
After a theoretical educational program, we move on to the heart of the matter. “For a man to want to have sex with you, he needs to be banned,” after this contradictory statement, a bewildered silence reigns in the hall. Natalia explains: “Tell your spouse that the gynecologist forbade you to have vaginal sex for a week. Just be more specific, otherwise he will think that you have something terrible. Forced vaginal celibacy will help a man focus on new information, and to set him up in a playful way, it is worth creating a situation where he could spy on a woman. For example, when going somewhere, you can switch the TV to something neutral – for example, to a program about primates, otherwise there is a risk of losing the match “Spartak” – “Dynamo”, open the door to the next room, which is clearly visible from its position, and slowly, but as erotically as possible, start putting on underwear. “If a man is still not off the monkeys and is not watching with lust for a sex show, then drop something heavy to attract his attention,” Natalya suggests.
When the partner has come to a blissful state of mind, it’s time to move on to the most important thing. For those who are not able to tell a man about “not so and not there”, Natalya offered a non-verbal training option. The bottom line is to show on yourself, as on an anatomical manual, all the “hot spots”, unless, of course, the owner herself has an idea about them.
In order not to threaten fictional abstinence, it is worth putting on a T-shirt and shorts, returning to the TV room and sitting with your back to the man, pretending that the peculiarities of animal life are of great interest. The sex trainer recommends that you cover your partner’s palms with yours and begin to gently drive over the body, lingering in the right places and avoiding the genitals.
Another game, well known to all of us since childhood, is “Hot and Cold”, but in an intimate way. “Ask a man to caress you, and you yourself designate the zone he has chosen for stimulation with the words “hot” if the zone is erogenous, and “cold” if not. The main thing is to be as honest as possible.”
On the top
Erogenous zones are important, but the worst thing men do is not at all with them. When we had rubber vaginas in our hands, and Natalya enthusiastically proclaimed the theme “Clitoris”, the fun began. It immediately became clear that what I had taken for the clitoris all my life was just the tip of the iceberg. The nerve endings hidden from the eyes are 20 cm long, the legs of the clitoris are located in the region of the labia majora, and its body is next to the pubic bone. This means that there are plenty of options for stimulation. What is the “Ninja Strangulation” technique worth: the point is that the partner presses the palm of the hand on the body of the clitoris in the pubic area, and then immediately on the legs in the labia, as if making a grip in a handful. Due to the strong blood flow to the vagina, the path to orgasm becomes closer. The “Money” technique, in which you just need to gently rub the foreskin of the clitoris – the “hood” – with your thumb and forefinger, also caused general delight. In total, we were shown about 20 different techniques, not sparing the rubber vagina. Now I’ll have something to entertain myself on a dull winter evening in the bath if it turns out that my man has no ability to learn.
I was waiting for this topic more than others, since cunnilingus performed by my missus still haunted me in nightmares. Natalya told how to convince a man to caress a woman orally, if he avoids it in every possible way. It turned out that not only hygiene is important, but also the choice of a position in which the partner will not feel submissive. Oddly enough, but the common prone position with legs apart subconsciously frightens even the most persistent tin generals.
The same pose, but with legs raised or the “69” position, is best. “To explain to a man how to use the tongue correctly, tell that you allegedly saw these caresses in a porn film performed by an actress, and she did like this – and, taking the man’s palm with the back side up, depict the “vacuum” movement on her lips or any other . And better – at least three times, so that you remember exactly.
After showing twenty tricks of not only manual stimulation, but also vaginal sex, Natalia summed up the results. Most often, men are not motivated to try something new, because they think that everything is in order anyway. Confidently but delicately point out problems and solve them in three steps. Stage one is extremely specific praise during sex for something that is already working out well. Educational games, which we were told about at the beginning of the training, will help to achieve a greater effect. Step two is to add harmless sex toys and gadgets to sex, this will help increase a man’s interest in diversity in bed. By the third stage of joint bold games and experiments, the partner, in theory, will already be ready himself. By that time, he will understand: for a woman, quality is more important than quantity. Sounds promising, let’s see how it turns out!
Alina M., 27: Our problem was foreplay, which was limited to biting the nipples and kissing the neck. After the training, I did some exercises with the man (now he even takes the initiative himself), with “hot-cold” progress is small, we laugh more often. The game of “examination” did not go at all, when you need to stand in a knee-elbow position and allow a man to touch himself with his hands or a pen, and the peeping technique did not work – no matter what I dropped, the man was not distracted from the TV. In general, it was embarrassing at first to explain to him what I wanted, but I remembered the words of the coach: “Afraid of losing a man – endure, live without an orgasm” and decided that my pleasure is no less important. During sex, I showed tactilely what I liked, and used the words “stronger” and “still”, which are not harmful to self-esteem, unlike the words “not so” and “not like”. Already much better!