There are hundreds of online courses on turning into a spherical lover in a vacuum: a wide variety of oral techniques, and Thai massage, and the development of orgasms of all kinds – vaginal, anal, jet (surprisingly, laser ones have not yet been invented). When I wrote a column about women’s trainings, I watched at least a dozen of them, and the francesses told about the same ones that I had not seen. And after all this abundance, I could not help but wonder: what about men? What are they being taught?

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Men’s trainings turned out to be an order of magnitude smaller, but something was still found. After the first one, only one thought was beating in my head: is it possible to publish the names and photographs of listeners somewhere so that women have a chance to avoid those who try to put their knowledge into practice?


The word “dominance” sounded about every two minutes: you have to be the main one, otherwise the testosterone level in a woman will rise, and yours will fall; dominance in sex helps men improve their social status; women specifically check whether the husband continues to be the leader in the family, and such checks must be skillfully passed. From time to time, a presentation slide of a paid course on fit, correct dominance for only 2,990 rubles, decorated with a whip and handcuffs, popped up from time to time.


The second training turned out to be calmer, but also caused sadness: the men were explained that they shouldn’t try to suck the clitoris – women don’t like it, and they were advised to say all sorts of nice words, and also to make sure that their mother or neighbor in the stairwell did not go past the open door: they say , in such an unsettling environment, the mistress will not be able to concentrate and get an orgasm, she needs security and subdued light for pleasure.


On a forum where other men teach men to be successful lovers, everything turned out to be just as sad: dominate, look for a normal woman who ends just because you entered, and even better – don’t worry at all, your duties are to pay the bill in a restaurant , her – to compensate you for expenses in bed.

The result is sad: while for men, bad sex is when the partner is not active enough, for women, good sex is when it was not painful and / or unpleasant. But in fact, becoming a good lover is not easy, but very simple, and it is not at all necessary to spend 2990 rubles on whip cracking courses. Here are some tips on how to do this: most do not only require money, but even a special investment of time.


So, if you want to be the perfect lover…

…stop listening to other men

Forget peer advice: most men who think they’ve delivered hundreds, thousands of orgasms have never actually been the source of them in their lives. Women have long learned: in order not to upset a lover, one must feign, otherwise do not expect good from upset men. He won’t quit, he’ll accuse him of frigidity, he won’t accuse him – he will try to bring the matter to a victorious end, and there is nothing worse than a man who repeats the same thing all night, expecting a different result. A guru who broadcasts how to properly extract a multiple jet orgasm from women, with a 99% probability, is either a character in the joke “and you say”, or an ideological fighter for banknotes, who considered that twenty neophytes for 2990 rubles is already a good monthly salary.



…stop thinking everything revolves around your dick

It’s normal that your grandfather thought so – in his time, the clitoris was embarrassed to depict even in anatomical atlases (and now half of them draw only the head), not to mention the illustrations in school textbooks. But times have changed, and it’s embarrassing not to know that most women don’t need penetrative sex.

Take it for granted: a penis is a tool for getting your pleasure, and if it suddenly happened that a woman only needs him, this is a great success, not the norm. None of us ends just from the sight of an erect phallus 18+ long, the cult from this body was created and maintained by the men themselves.

… learn materiel

Once again: the days of grandfather, when there was only a chapter on anatomy in the eighth grade from the available information, are long gone. There are, if not many, but quite enough quality books about sex and sexuality, which talk about the physiology of women and its research: for example, “How a Woman Wants” by Emily Nagosaki or “Viva la vagina” by Nina Brockmann and Ellen Stöcken Dahl. If you want to become a good lover, read them, not men’s forums.


And also check any information: for example, the existence of the G-spot, which firefighters look for at every training, is looked for by the police, has not been proven by anything, except for a few studies, in each of which well if more than one woman took part.

…learn to use the language for its intended purpose

No, not for cunnilingus, but to ask a woman what she likes and what she doesn’t. People are different, and what one girl adores, another causes only vomiting. There is no set program for a good lover that will work for everyone. And even more: the same partner may want different things depending on her mood or well-being.

By the way, for the intended purpose, you need to be able to use not only the language, but also the ears: not only ask, but also take note of the answer. If a woman says that she does not like any elements of BDSM, there is no need to think, then she simply did not have a normal dominant, and now you will show her the sky in diamonds after a course for 2990 rubles from a recognized guru of a whip and a rope. Remember: female sexuality consists not only of desires and fantasies, but also of boundaries. Yours, however, too: you are unlikely to be happy with a forced prostate massage.



…be safe

Neither interruption, nor a calendar, nor prayer, nor shifting responsibility for this issue to a mistress, nor the magic phrase “You won’t get pregnant the first time,” nor the superpower to identify “clean” girls by eye are not suitable for this – only condoms. A woman can get an orgasm only when she feels safe, and, believe me, it is very difficult to get into the comfort zone, wondering if the partner is healthy and whether she will have to have an abortion.

…watch yourself

This is not about a daily shower, clean clothes and trimmed nails – these are requirements not for good lovers, but for random neighbors on the bus. There will be no advice to go to the gym for press cubes – women have no illusions about this, realizing that at the sight of such a rider, men are more likely to quit having sex altogether.


You need to take care of your health: gastritis and untreated teeth in time are not only harmful to you, but also unpleasant for a woman – the smell from the mouth caused by the disease cannot be hidden by any freshener. Any other chronic condition will also have an effect: high blood pressure is sweating and a red face, fifteen extra pounds on the stomach – minus 2.5 cm of the “working” length of the penis, problems with blood vessels – hello, impotence! Good sex is definitely not the one that ends with conversations that happen to everyone, don’t worry, it will work out another time.

…stop shying away from sex toys

Reread point two again: stop thinking that everything is centered around your penis. A skilled lover is a simple design: he is the one with whom a woman enjoys. It is not written in any secret women’s code that only those orgasms that are received from the penis are taken into account: we are satisfied with any, not to mention how tiring attempts to find the magic point of pleasure with the body or achieve relaxation with the help of hour-long marathons of monotonous frictions.


Take it for granted: an orgasm from a vacuum clitoral stimulator is no different from the notorious “vaginal” orgasm, which for some reason is imposed as the only true one. After all, you don’t think that your wife doesn’t love you if she uses a washing machine, and doesn’t lovingly scrub every spot on her shirt with her hands? So treat toys the same way: this is just a guaranteed way to please a woman (which, as a rule, she also paid for herself – unlike courses of proper domination for 2990 rubles).

These seven simple tips will allow any man to stand out from the rest of the “strong half” without any training. Yes, and the general principle is simple: you need to stop believing in the mythical crowds of starving “divorced women with trailers”, “old women” over thirty and cellulite fat women as much as 48 sizes, who cry every night from longing for men’s hands on their chests – and it doesn’t matter, to what body these hands are attached to, the main thing is that the penis is also available. And then, perhaps, women’s training on different types of orgasm will no longer begin with the words: “Of course, it’s easier to finish without a man, but today, girls, we will still try to learn how to do it with them.”