muddy waters

This applies to public pools (if suddenly for some reason you needed to have sex in the pool), the same applies to the sea. Yes, you are swimming in it with dangerous bacteria, but it is one thing to swim, and quite another to literally invite these bacteria into your vagina.


The Mediterranean Sea, on the shores of which about 200 million tourists rest annually, suffers no less than others. Every summer the amount of garbage jumps by 40%, most of it is plastic that will hardly get inside you, but having sex among floating soda bottles and plastic straws is so-so fun.

Before you do it somewhere at night near the coast, you can check on the website of the European Environment Agency how clean the water that will witness your passion is.


Not romantic at all, to be honest. Just don’t say that this has never happened in your life – you are swimming and swimming, and then something slippery touches your foot. Most likely, this is a random seaweed that was scared no less than you, this can kill pleasure in no time. It could also be a jellyfish. Sorry, this is private.


You can only have sex in open water if you have iron eggs nerves.

Dry like the sea

Water will wash away any lubricant, so, oddly enough, sex in the sea will be dry, like … like sex in the bathroom, for example. Obviously, you can’t stock up on lube in advance, there are no pockets to hide it, and its absence will affect even the most superficial finger.

Add “joy” and sand that floats from the bottom: when it gets into intimate places, it will be felt like glass fragments.

I see you

In addition to jellyfish, there are children in the sea who love to swim in masks and goggles. The kid will gladly tell his parents in detail what “uncle and aunt” did under water. You probably won’t like the publicity, not to mention the fact that the bespectacled kid might be replaced by his parents or the Coast Guard.


At best, the whole beach will simply giggle over you, at worst, the matter may end (or begin, how to look) in the department.

Don’t carry me river

Water can be treacherous and deceptive, and even more so in open water. In less than a minute, you will be covered with your head – and not passion, but a wave. Literally. If you are excited by the thought of spitting water mixed with salt, sand and pieces of shells, then go ahead. If not, sex in a hotel room, in a well-ventilated area, on fresh linen will be much better.