Although communication with a partner is one of the most important moments in a good relationship, it can sometimes be difficult to ask him to do or not do something in bed. Afraid of hurting his feelings, making him defensive or vulnerable. But it’s worth the risk – and, as a rule, you get what you want! Here are some positive stories about it that will help you decide.

“Tear off my clothes!”: 9 opinions on how to ask a partner for something in sex


  1. “For a long time I was going to ask him for a longer foreplay. And when I finally decided, he literally screamed why I hadn’t said this before! And our sex stopped looking like a quick satisfaction of the needs of one of the partners.” Svetlana, 30 years old.
  2. “I wanted to hear his moans, but for some reason he thought they annoyed me. Yes, and I loved cunnilingus more than once a year. One conversation and everything was decided.” Angelina, 29 years old.
  3. “I wanted to feel wanted and have him rip my clothes off. Voila!” Marina, 35 years old.
  4. “He didn’t like trying new positions, but I found some he couldn’t object to.” – Inna, 33
  5. “He knew that I love BDSM, but refused to try. It turned out he was afraid to hurt me!” Vera, 35 years old.
  6. “After sex, he immediately fell asleep, and I wanted to cuddle. It was worth starting a conversation – and everything worked out.” Nika, 25 years old.
  7. “Once I asked him to kiss my feet… It turned out that he himself wanted to offer it, but was afraid of rejection.” Ulyana, 28 years old.
  8. “Threesome is my old fantasy. He resisted for a long time, but then circumstances turned out so that we tried it and liked it.” Olga, 34 years old.
  9. “Since childhood, I dreamed of becoming a flight attendant, and then I decided that I could try a role-playing game. It turned out that he was also interested in this.” Dina, 24 years old.