Fear of failure

Do not self-medicate! In our articles, we collect the latest scientific data and the opinions of authoritative health experts. But remember: only a doctor can diagnose and prescribe treatment.

Roman Poligov, 36:


“As a rule, I am always confident in myself and my abilities. But once an unpleasant embarrassment happened to me, which embarrassed not only me, but also my companion: she thought that she was not good enough. In fact, the day before I had an important transaction that made me very nervous. Apparently, I just needed rest, not sex.

Fear of failure is one of the most common male fears when it comes to sex, even if there are no prerequisites for such an outcome. Perhaps this has already happened to him once, and he is afraid that it will happen again. How then will it look in women’s eyes? All these thoughts can make a man delay the moment of intimacy as long as possible.

What to do? Of course, a girl should be more delicate and softer if her man is afraid of failing. To cheer up and calm the guy, you need to let him know that you want tenderness and affectionate kisses, then he will relax, and everything will definitely work out. Focusing your attention on the problem and actively discussing it in order to identify possible causes is the greatest evil that can be done to a gentle, frightened creature. However, if this fear is justified, and a man regularly encounters problems with potency, it is better to consult a specialist to rule out possible health issues.



Fear of cum fast

Vyacheslav Polovnikov, 25:

“When I was about twenty years old, my girlfriend and I decided to have sex in the room next to our parents. During the process, it seemed to me that they were about to come in, and I was frightened. It all ended faster than I expected.”

If a quick orgasm is a feature of the body, then a man is probably aware of his capabilities and accepts himself as he is. At the same time, premature ejaculation happens to absolutely everyone, and you should not pay attention to a single case. It is better to give the guy time to rest, and then ask for revenge.

What to do? Of course, when a regular partner cums faster than you realize the fact of copulation, then it is simply necessary to take action. Ringing all the bells and shouting about the problem is not the most promising idea, it is worth showing tact and attentiveness to the condition of your man. There are many reasons for premature ejaculation: diseases, stress, strong arousal. In any case, the treatment of such an ailment is possible only with an individual approach. First, the causes are determined, and then treatment is already prescribed, if necessary.


Fear of disappointing a woman

Mikhail Razgulov, 29:

“I had a case when I was so in love that I was afraid to frighten off my luck in the face of a very beautiful girl and literally did not breathe when she was around. And when it came to sex, then I could not pull myself together, all my thoughts were around a possible failure: what if she doesn’t like it, what then? In general, that evening we watched the movie and fell asleep.

The most common reason for such anxieties is excessive enthusiasm for his chosen one: it is very important for a man that the girl reaches orgasm. In addition, perhaps a man is very doubtful not only of physical health, but also of his skills: who will be pleased to know that his woman does not enjoy intimacy? Of course, you can throw off all your fears on female frigidity, but an adequate man understands that there are very few such women – about 3%.


What to do? The only possible way to rid your man of such complexes is your sincere interest in him. Arrange a surprise for him: create a romantic atmosphere, tell about the undeniable virtues that he is endowed with. When he believes in himself and in your attitude, the problem will disappear.


Fear of responsibility

Maxim Uvarov, 24:


“We dated for about two years. At the most inopportune moment, she decided to start talking about children! All my desire was gone. I introduced these little kids and realized that I was not yet ready for such a responsibility. I didn’t manage to get excited again: children constantly appeared before my eyes. So tell me, why would you do that?”

A man may delay the moment of intimacy for fear of making a commitment to a woman. Often, men are of the opinion that immediately after sex, Mendelssohn’s march plays in the woman’s head, and she has already come up with names for the children together. As a decent man, he cannot disappoint a touching creature, so he tries in every possible way to prevent sex and postpone it for the next time.

What to do? If a man is concerned about your reaction after sex, you should hint to him that you are a self-sufficient woman. In the end, sex is a mutual pleasure, he did not force you to have an intimate relationship, and you did not expose sex as a price for a future marriage. In such a matter, you need to be honest and find out what you really want from each other.


Fear of competition

Vladimir Kholodkov, 25:

“I had a similar fear when I first entered the world of big sex. The first girl was two years older, but she had much more experience, which I did not expect at all from such a young princess. When I found out that she had many partners before me, I broke off all relations. It seemed to me that my skills might not be enough to satisfy such a person, and she would go to more cold-blooded men.

A man, as a rule, always strives to be better than others: in work, sports and other social areas. But competition in bed is extremely rare, this is a weak point of his self-esteem, because the issue of male power and procreation is at stake. The fear that you will compare him to other men can make a guy refuse to have sex.


What to do? First of all, you shouldn’t tell your new boyfriend about an amazing affair with an ex-lover, even if it was many years ago. Best of all, the rule “the less you know, the better you sleep” works here. Do not forget that by nature all men are possessive, and they do not want to hear that you were dating someone else. Better let him know that he is the one and only for you, avoiding any form of comparison.