Elena is a sex educator, author of More Than Sex, and a blogger with an audience of 113,000 people. During the broadcast, we discussed many important issues, but sex is an inexhaustible topic. The theme of sexual fantasies remained behind the scenes, and so many questions are connected with it! In the book, Elena analyzes the most discussed female fantasies and tells what is really behind them. We think you’ll be interested to know about it!
Not only husband
Colleague from work, Benedict Cumberbatch or that guy from fitness – sometimes in fantasies there is someone other than a permanent partner. Does this mean that we have embarked on a slippery slope of treason? Is it necessary to get rid of such fantasies?
Cheating is a violation of boundaries in a couple. It is impossible to impose boundaries on what does not happen in reality – and therefore, it is impossible to break them. Trying to get rid of fantasy is always fraught with problems.
“To consider fantasy as cheating is to impose restrictions on someone else’s sexuality, perhaps stigmatize it, and perhaps make it more attractive, like everything forbidden,” says Elena Galetskaya.
Approximately 62% of women have fantasized about sexual violence. But imagination is good because we are always in control of what is happening. This does not mean that we want to repeat the plot in reality.
Power and strength are attractive, so the motives of violence can appear in our fantasies. Here we can safely get those sensations that in reality would be associated with too much risk.
“Do you know why some women watch rape porn? Elena says in the book. “Because they have a TV remote control in their hands, which tells them: everything is fine, you can turn it off at any time.”
In her book More Than Sex, Elena talks in detail about the most common female fantasies and what lies behind them.
The third is not superfluous
Sometimes women have a fantasy about a threesome. “Such a practice is far from being for everyone, not to mention the fact that emotionally and psychologically a threesome is not suitable for anyone. From a purely technical point of view, it is difficult to implement it in such a way that all participants are satisfied, and the woman does not get injured, ”Elena Galetskaya explains the difference between reality and fantasy.
It is not so much the gender of the “additional” partner that is important here, but what you expect. More tenderness? Attention? Forces? Or just extra stimulation? If you lack something in sex, you will not achieve what you want by adding a third person. A reasonable alternative is to talk to your partner and discuss how to add the necessary ingredients to real sex in a couple.
Do you want to know more? Then read Elena’s book “More than sex”! In it, for example, she talks about how fantasies are great fuel for libido. Just make sure that they do not become intrusive, do not pop up in your head against your will and do not interfere with enjoying the current moment – and everything will be fine.