“When my daughter was six years old, she insisted on being present at the birth when her little sister was born. I gave birth at the medical center in a heartbreaking 20 minutes after I arrived. Mia could not stand the screams and all this time she was waiting outside with my friend. Since then, she often says: “I will never have sex. I don’t want to have a baby.”

She knows where babies come from, but she thinks I’ve only had sex twice in my life. I have yet to sit down in front of her and explain that sex is something that most people enjoy. But my plans are not limited to this. I think girls should not just learn that sex with a partner is enjoyable; they must first learn to please themselves.

Together with the booklet “Girl. Young woman. Woman, my girls will each get a vibrator.

When I started having sex at the age of 17, within a couple of months I became almost addicted to it. My boyfriend quickly got fed up and began to move away from me emotionally and then physically. I was like a drug addict without a dose, and clung to this boy for a year, desperately trying to return the feelings that awakened in me. I still had no idea about onanism. I only knew that this guy made me experience something I had never felt before, and I thought I could only experience it with him.

As a single mother, I am familiar with the Centers for Disease Control statistics, which say that 12-year-old single-parent families lose their virginity 4% more often than their peers who grow up with two parents.

Here’s what happens: girls start having sex with guys because they expect it from them, but girls don’t expect pleasure in return. Boys who watch porn think that the girls they have sex with will enjoy it just like those women in the movies. Girls, wanting to please boys, agree to sexual acts, to which they have yet to grow and grow, and which not all adult women have to taste.

Now the question is: what if these girls already knew what they like sexually? What if they had time at home, bending over a book-guide to masturbation, to find out where their clitoris is?

Wouldn’t a passionate guy’s erection become less tempting to them if they already had an idea of ​​what good sex is and what they experience?

It is important that we have these conversations with our children and teach them about sex from an early age.

An article in the Australian Women’s Weekly reports that in the Netherlands, where the positive side of sexuality is openly discussed, there are 12 pregnancies (including abortions) for every 1,000 women under the age of 19, and 44 in Australia. on temperance propaganda, 85 of them.

Sexuality education, including explaining what is “consent” and what is “rape”, should start right from kindergarten in an age-appropriate way. It all starts with you asking your friends if they mind if you hug them and understanding that they can say no. For some reason, children are never explained that if you like a boy, this does not mean that he likes you too.

Sex without desire should under no circumstances be a normal part of a teenage girl’s first sexual experience. I hope my daughter can say no! and will agree only when it is ready. I hope she says “yes” loudly and with bated breath, and does not mumble out of fear of saying “no”. I want her to have mind-blowing, amazing sex, and she won’t learn it if she doesn’t first figure out how to please herself.

Now she is only 8 years old, and she has a friend left for the night. It’s almost midnight. I’m tired, but I’m trying to let them giggle and pillow fight and build a house out of a blanket. It won’t be long before they can’t do that anymore. Daughter’s friend is a boy. I enjoy the way they coo, then quarrel, then reconcile. I notice his bullying behavior and her incomprehension. I hear them talk about sex sometimes, and both of them have decided they will never have it, and he declares that he will never get married.

I want them to be themselves. Cheerful, silly friends. And so that sex does not become an obstacle for them. It’s hard to imagine how, 5 or 10 years from now, they’ll be rebellious, increasingly rolling their eyes in response to teaching, and having to talk about contraception.

I know that time will come, and I want to explain to my daughter all about self-gratification, while I myself grew up believing that it is a sin.

From the editor: Sexuality education is, of course, great. And the mother’s desire to protect her daughter from repeating parental mistakes is understandable. But even if we forget for a moment that such a gift from the mother in the mind of the child is likely to come into conflict with the incest taboo (the ban on incestuous relationships), there remains one more problem.

Vibrator.

Imagine the sex life of a girl who began her knowledge of herself, her body and the world of sensual pleasures with a technical device.

Yes, the baby will not have to cling to an unloving boyfriend, if only he would give her sexual pleasure. And when she says “Yes” in a voice breaking with passion, she will be deeply disappointed … That is, not deeply. And too slow. And not so long. And not so intense. And in general – not so.

The “exploits” of a battery-powered lover cannot be repeated by any man (unless he is just another toy from a sex shop). Neither the frequency of oscillation, nor other physical characteristics. By the way, can you tell me where the batteries are inserted in a living person? How can he not ten times in a row? “Fi, the rose is real!”

So in 10 years we are waiting for the article “Why I threw away the vibrator presented by my mother.”