“There is a widespread belief that all men are polygamous, so they cheat. However, in reality, there is a reason behind every betrayal. Obvious or hidden, but it is there. Let’s figure out what most often pushes men to adultery, ” – says a psychologist, sexologist and expert of the training center “SEX.RF” Marina Snegireva.
Male infidelity has two main root causes on which all others are built:
- In a relationship, a man does not get what he needs, wants.
- You are different. It may seem to you that you are giving a man all the love and warmth, but you are broadcasting it in a different and incomprehensible language for him.
5 most common causes of male infidelity
1. Sexual boredom
Perhaps the most common cause of male infidelity is sexual boredom. The reason for this is the monotony of living together. At the beginning of a relationship, partners study each other: explores erogenous zones and ways that deliver sexual pleasure.
Each partner develops an understanding of how to do well to the other. So it turns out that a couple of favorite positions and several sexual techniques prevail in a couple. After some time, such sex turns into a boring, monotonous or even mechanical process. Therefore, in search of new emotions and impressions, a man can go to the left.
What to do?
Don’t wait for a man to take the initiative. This may never happen. Suddenly he is shy or afraid to offer you something like that. Take the first step, for example, start with the realization of your sexual desires. This will inspire the man, which means it will be easier for him to tell you about his preferences and ideas.
There are many ways to diversify your sex life: role-playing games, devices (toys for two) and intimate cosmetics from a sex shop, new techniques and poses. It is not necessary to immediately choose devices for “confident users”. Start with a stimulating lubricant or purchase erotic lingerie, such as slit panties. Any unusual little thing can be a harbinger of a sexual storm.
2. Dissatisfaction with sex life
In part, this paragraph repeats the previous one, but here there are some nuances. Sexual dissatisfaction appears when a partner lacks the quantity of sex, its quality or the same variety. For example, a woman may be passive or closed in sex, or she flatly refuses to try anything new.
Psychologist and sexologist Marina Snegireva
Photo: from the personal archive of Marina Snegireva
Problems in relationships between partners are often shifted to sexual life. If a woman nags or scolds a man all the time, then in sex he may not perceive her as an object of desire and passion.
What to do?
Try to have a frank conversation with your partner and find out what he would like, what he likes and what not. It is important to do this without reproaches and negativity – talk calmly and gently. Improve your sexual prowess. Recently, sex education has become popular and is no longer considered something out of the ordinary. There are even courses and trainings on sex techniques.
“When a woman has trouble reaching an orgasm, she may be quite calm about sex, because she simply does not get the maximum pleasure from it. Therefore, she has no particular desire to bring something new into it.
But it is worth dealing with this problem, as a woman begins to burn and glow at the mere thought of sex. And this is very felt and appreciated by a man, ”Marina Snegireva is convinced.
3. Sexual fantasy for the non-free
Sex with another woman is a common male fantasy among the “busy”. A man is essentially a hunter, so he is always attracted to something new: a different hair color, a different figure, a different behavior.
By turning this fantasy into reality, a man feels that he is violating a certain prohibition, goes hunting, and this excites and excites him. The urgent need for this is not born out of nowhere. It is likely that the partner simply lacks sexual diversity and passion.
What to do?
Most men are visuals. Therefore, it is important to take care of yourself and your appearance. Even in long-term relationships, you need to regularly create the effect of surprise. Experiment with your look: hair color, makeup, wardrobe, etc.
If you have been together for a long time, such changes in your image (even minor ones) will only increase the degree of passion and interest of your beloved in you.
4. The illusion of choice and self-esteem
Sometimes cheating for a man is such a way to get away from reality and understanding that he is in a cage of family ties. Betrayal gives him a sense of freedom, that at any moment he is free to make another, “best” choice for himself.
Sexual relations with another woman for many men is a way to increase their self-esteem, to subconsciously receive confirmation of their “maleness”. This is true for those men whose self-esteem does not receive this at home. By the way, men’s self-esteem needs this especially acutely during a midlife crisis.
What to do?
Analyze how much you control your partner. Maybe you took over all of his space? Then slow down and let him feel the freedom: meeting with friends or time for himself.
Male self-esteem needs to be pampered. Remember the last time you complimented your man: “How courageous, how handsome, how earner you are”? It is important to focus on his masculine essence. Otherwise, the man will look for confirmation of this on the side.
5. Finding an emotional connection
Over time, not only passion can subside in a couple, but the emotional, spiritual connection between partners can also weaken. Life, everyday work, family chores – all this at some point eradicates simple conversations about interesting and new things in relationships. Partners simply stop sharing thoughts and experiences. A man can get bored with you. Especially if all your conversations come down to everyday or work topics.
What to do?
Take care of yourself, find a new passion or hobby. Of course, you can always find excuses and reasons not to do it: business, work, life, children, family. But agree, it will always be. Therefore, start small – read something new, go to creative courses or self-development training.
Invite your partner to do something with you. So you will not only spend more time together, but also make it interesting, strengthening your emotional and spiritual connection.
What conclusion can be drawn?
It is a mistake to say that only one partner is to blame for treason. Cheating is the result of mistakes and misunderstandings by both partners. Cheating can be prevented if you talk with your partner about his and your desires, take care of yourself, move forward and develop together. It’s not even so much about “holding” a man.
It’s more about how not to stop in your own development, being in a long relationship. But this is the psychology of many women: “He won’t get away from me anywhere, you can relax.” If there is love in your relationship, then the man will definitely appreciate the initiative on your part and will meet you halfway.