1. Scheduled Love Isn’t So Boring When Approached Right
“We agreed to have sex on Tuesdays and Saturdays, as if it were yoga classes or a planned shopping trip. It may sound boring, but it’s actually unexpectedly soothing. There are no surprises and spontaneity in this, but there are no nit-picking, resentment and unjustified expectations.”
Not everyone is enthusiastic about the idea of bringing a “planned economy” into this delicate sphere, but if the problem of mismatch of temperaments is acute, then perhaps it’s worth a try.
2. Realize that if your partner doesn’t want sex right now, it may not be personal.
Of course, it could be that you had a fight, that he is angry with you and that you are in trouble. It may not be. He probably just doesn’t want sex. Some people, whose temperament is hotter than that of a partner, admit that it was not easy for them to learn not to take the refusal of the second half in sex at their own expense. But when they managed to do it, it helped improve the relationship.
“I realized that she doesn’t push me away, she just doesn’t want sex. And we both began to try to show each other our care and affection in other areas of the relationship.
If your partner can’t give you what you need, when you need it and in sufficient quantity, take matters into your own hands. Including in the literal sense.
4. Be willing to accept what he can give.
If you want ordinary sex at this moment, and he is only ready to, for example, do cunnilingus – agree.
“Often I have to compromise and agree that she just caresses my hand. But this also gives me relief and, to be honest, I am glad about this. After all, she does this on purpose in order to please me, because she cares. When she’s in the mood, I do the same for her.”
5. If you need a change, admit it.
If one of you feels that you need sex more or less than it happens between you, or you want something different from your partner, then do not be silent. Only frankness can be the beginning of solving the problem and give you harmony in your intimate life.