Here is how one of the women describes the situation, for whom such thoughts are necessary as air:
“When I am with a man, only one thing helps me reach the peak of pleasure: when I imagine him with another woman. She’s naked, he’s looking at her, touching her, they’re making love… Basically, he’s cheating on me in my mind – so why does it turn me on so much? I never talked about this to my husband. I’m afraid he’ll want a threesome or a couple or start sleeping with other women in front of me, but it hurts me just thinking that this could actually happen. I don’t want to open Pandora’s box: what if he also starts fantasizing in this direction and can’t stop?
I worry about the fact that I can’t be honest with him, and I have an irrational fear: what if I really push him to betray with such thoughts?
I tried very hard to avoid fantasies like this, but then I can’t finish for too long, we start to feel like we’re not succeeding, and I fantasize to still finish. What should I do?”
It must be said that this is a fairly common fantasy: both men and women are often turned on by the thought that their partner is doing something vicious – and for some, there is nothing more vicious than cheating. Some couples go even further and actually fulfill this fantasy. But for most, it’s just a thought that helps to climax.
Depending on the personality of the “dreamer”, these thoughts are either a consequence of masochism or a strange form of freedom. Either you enjoy the pain of imagining that your worst fears have come true, or you want to share your loved one with someone to prove that your connection is strong enough that such entertainment will not destroy it. Or maybe you’re just more comfortable thinking about someone else’s pleasure than your own.
Perhaps you can share such fantasies with your partner – if you are absolutely sure that these are just fantasies. People in bed tell each other all sorts of wild things that they really wouldn’t do for anything.
If you decide to tell, it’s better not to focus on the fact that this is happening. every time. It’s enough to tell him that you like to fantasize about him making love to other women, but you don’t want him to actually do something like that. Perhaps he will be flattered and even aroused by what you imagine. his the hero of porn scenes (rather than imagining yourself in the arms of an ex-boyfriend or neighbor).
Focus the conversation on Germanon what you like to represent his. Ask him what he fantasizes about. He probably has a couple of fantasies that will surprise you. You might even find new ways to turn each other on insanely.
You love risky fantasies – so take the risk to discuss them with a loved one. It may turn out that you are turned on by such conversations.