On average, doctors advise waiting six weeks. But still, before resuming sexual activity, visit a gynecologist to be sure that sex will go smoothly in every sense. If you do not feel the desire yet, do not rush things.
Some of these rules apply to any sexual relationship, not just postpartum intimacy. The general recommendation for women who have recently become mothers is to pay maximum attention to your needs and take your time if the desire has not yet returned.
1. Long prelude. It usually takes a woman longer to “warm up”, and after giving birth, you may need even longer foreplay. Your partner should be careful and patient, especially since foreplay sometimes brings a lot of pleasure. Use different techniques, toys and paraphernalia that sets you in an erotic mood.
2. Relax. Most new mothers literally fall down from fatigue and lack of sleep. What kind of sex can we talk about? First of all, you need to take time for yourself and how to relax. A hot bath, massage, and just a strong, high-quality sleep will help with this.
3. Don’t force. If the forces for sex are still not enough, forcing yourself is the worst idea. Even if the partner insists. Especially if he insists! Your husband or boyfriend is obliged to take into account your “no” – this seems to be an indisputable and obvious truth, but not everyone understands this until now.
4. Use lubricant. Due to the action of hormones, a woman who has recently given birth may lack natural lubrication. Fortunately, pharmacies and sex shops have a large selection of lubricants – take the one that is water-based and with a natural composition (safe for nursing mothers). Lubricants with glycerin disrupt the balance of the vaginal microflora, and silicone ones irritate the delicate mucous membrane.
5. Look for a comfortable position. In your current state, your favorite sex position may need to be re-selected, as the trauma a woman sometimes receives during childbirth can be painful.
6. Share responsibility. It often happens that a young mother takes on the whole life and, of course, most of the child care. Telling your partner that you need help will allow you to relax more and build trust in the couple. Strength for sex will increase immediately!
7. Train your muscles. After childbirth, the pelvic floor muscles may lose tone. If you want to get back in shape, try classic Kegel exercises or special machines for intimate muscles.
8. Love and acceptance of yourself. These whales of self-awareness are more important than ever! Body changes after pregnancy and childbirth can be a real test for your self-esteem. Try to perceive them as what allowed you to become a mother. You are going through a new experience, and this cannot but be reflected in the body. The body is the repository of everything you experience and feel. So, any of its transformations are valuable and important.
What else do you need to know?
No one is able to want intimacy all the time, especially a woman who has recently become a mother and is experiencing a new, exciting and somewhat stressful stage in her life.
So, the term “set” for sex seems to have come, and the corresponding mood is late? If this bothers you a lot, go to the gynecologist. And if the desire still returned, but during intimacy you experienced pain, all the more so go and be sure to tell your doctor about these feelings.
Sometimes the reason that the libido freezes at zero is postpartum depression. This state is certainly not to be ignored. Be sure to visit a psychiatrist. And don’t be shy! Many women face such a disease, just not everyone is ready to talk about it. You are not to blame for anything, you are not a weak and not a bad mother! Postpartum depression is the result of hormonal imbalances and an imbalance of neurotransmitters in the brain, not your imaginary worthlessness.