You have a nice, sweet and free friend, who, as you think, can sooner or later be retrained as a lover. You do not see anything wrong with this – after all, you know very well who you let into your bed. But even here there are pitfalls: turning a friend into a sexual partner is usually easy. But the reverse process can be much more difficult. So play by the rules.
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Rule One: Fair Play
One of the problems with friendships is that one of you may have delusions about your relationship. Maybe your friend has been in love with you for a long time and was just looking for a reason to get closer. Or you decided to consider a friend in the role of a boyfriend, which he did not claim at all. As a result, your friendship will most likely end. Think about whether you want to lose a loved one? Also, if he loves you and you don’t, don’t start an intimate relationship – that’s cruel.
Rule two: it’s not an option
There is an opinion among some girls that friendship sex is almost like a session with a psychotherapist. A friend will re-glue a broken heart, drive away longing for a past relationship, create the appearance that you are not alone. In fact, this is not so: sex, except for tension, does not relieve anything. And after drinking this “placebo”, you will soon be convinced that nothing in your life has changed. Moreover, the hotter your friendly bed, the colder your everyday life becomes. And you, disappointed in the imaginary “cure”, run the risk of becoming even more depressed.
Remember that sex is just sex, not a way to get over your ex. If you want your friend, this is quite a sufficient argument for sleeping with him. And it’s better to sort out the rest of the reasons separately, without throwing everything into one fire. This will increase your chances of getting rid of problems.
Rule Three: Nothing Fatal Will Happen
The main reason for reflection after friendship is due to the fact that we change the attitude towards the person with whom we slept. By the way, both positively and negatively. It may happen that after sex with a friend you will look at him in a new way, move away, become isolated, embarrassed … And he will not be entirely clear why you are ignoring him. Your relationship will stretch like a guitar string, and instead of the pleasant sensations that your body will remember, unpleasant thoughts will settle in your head. In general, you will decide that all this was a huge mistake. Although, in essence, nothing terrible happened. Therefore, if you are not sure about your own reaction to the consequences of your intimate relationship, it is better not to start.
Rule four: do not take someone else’s
He is free and attractive, you are free and damn attractive … Here is a reason for you to get to know each other better. And if he opened up with you that he and his girlfriend had not been sleeping together for a couple of months, and you decided to lend a helping hand to him, then think about the consequences. Do not justify yourself by saying that this is just friendship and strictly between you. You probably have mutual acquaintances to whom you can accidentally spill the beans, and they will rush to tell you further “along the chain”.
And also think about what it would be like for you in the place of his girlfriend. Karma, by the way, has the properties of a boomerang.
Rule five: no pitfalls
The most important thing in friendship sex with an ex and not only is sex itself. And not psychotherapy, revenge on the former, excitement with interest, and so on. If you just want him and he wants you… why not? Treat such an experience on the principle of “it was good, and it was good that it was.” Do not build illusions, but do not discount the fact that your relationship can one day grow into something more. Anything happens.