“The wedding march has ended, the honeymoon has ended successfully, and many women believe that they have already realized the main condition for their happy life, and calm down. However, the reality is usually far from the fairy tale. How accurately the phrase “lived happily ever after” will become synonymous with your family life depends largely on your wife, that is, on you. Today I will tell the readers of 7days.ru what actions of married ladies annoy their husbands and can lead to divorce, – He speaks Ekaterina Fedorovapsychologist and sex trainer, author of a dozen books on family and sexual relationships, director of a women’s training center.
1. “Total control”
Unfortunately, many of the fair sex, immediately after the wedding, begin to think that the coveted stamp in the passport makes their man literally a slave, who a priori cannot have personal space. They “put” the spouse under lock and key, forbid him to see friends, go to matches, go fishing and even go to the gym. A separate place is occupied by the control of his communication in social networks, by phone, in instant messengers.
Someone is spying in secret, and some do it openly, also arranging “interrogations with passion” about who Katya is and with whom he is arranging a meeting. At the same time, most ladies do not even think about the fact that in doing so they lose such a luxury as trust. With such behavior, you immediately put your husband in the position of the guilty, make you make excuses. And few people will like this, moreover, it can push for feats – so that there is something to scold for.
2. “Money down the drain”
An equally unpleasant thing for a man is constant unplanned spending unnecessarily, especially if you do not work or maintain a joint budget. It’s one thing if you really need running shoes to the gym. And the other is when you buy expensive leopard platform shoes that you are unlikely to wear. It is clear that shopping often gives women at least temporary, but happiness. However, such purchases, especially if you confronted him with a fact, annoy her husband, to put it mildly. If you want to update your wardrobe this month, say this question in advance, announce the required amount and do not demand, but ask. It is possible that you are not aware that a replacement of some spare part is required in the car, and you will spend the funds planned for this.
Photo: from the personal archive of E. Fedorova
3. “Saw, Shura, saw”
This bad habit is closely related to the previous one, and often refers specifically to the financial issue. Alas, many ladies begin to perceive their man as nothing more than a piggy bank. At the same time, if he cannot earn money for a new fur coat or car, they start working as a well-known carpentry tool, “drinking” every evening after the work of the poor spouse, who is already doing everything in his power to ensure the normal living of the family, the education of children and perfect summer vacation.
However, it will be more constructive to stop criticizing your husband with or without reason, but to ask how you can help. In general, empathy or empathy is a great thing. Try to be sincerely interested in what your husband is doing, his problems, express your support to him and faith in his strength, and everything will change.
4. “From the swan to the duck”
Over the years, life more and more kills lightness, grooming, the desire to be beautiful in a woman … It is very easy to turn from a beauty into a dress, with styling, manicure and burning eyes, into a “aunt” tired of life. Remember yourself, what were you like when you met your loved one? How did you conquer him? Of course, keeping yourself in shape all the time is a lot of work.
However, it pays off beautifully – you will again become desirable for your husband, and good and regular sex keeps the couple stronger than cement. This process is interconnected – after a stormy night, both eyes sparkle and the desire to please again appears. But, nevertheless, you need to start with yourself if you don’t want your man to look at others. Therefore, go in for sports, put yourself in order and throw away your old bathrobe!
5. “Secret to the whole world”
Of course, discussing a common acquaintance with a friend is sacred. However, nothing infuriates men like gossip. In this regard, you should not tell him “secretly” the secrets of your “girls” – he will not appreciate this. Moreover, the husband will experience unpleasant doubts about what you have already told your girlfriends about him. Be smarter – do not take out “dirty linen in public” and do not tell, let alone scold your spouse in front of relatives, parents and acquaintances. You will not get good advice from them, you will only undermine the authority of your man, and this is unlikely to save the family.
6. “Everything has its place”
Have you thought about whether your husband has enough personal space at home? Where are his things, is there a favorite corner where he can relax? Of course, a woman always has more clothes and shoes, and there are also accessories and cosmetics, and all this must be stored somewhere. However, if you took almost all the shelves under your wardrobe, leaving your dear one and only, then this will obviously not please him. The same goes for other things. Remember, each family member needs their own space, which should not be violated. It is also not good if you take on the cleaning in the things of a loved one, after which he cannot find his socks, documents or tools. Ask him, as a last resort, to put things in order, sort out and throw out the unnecessary. Believe me, he will appreciate it!
7. “Tell me, darling…”
Another negative habit that is destructive in a marriage is the constant questions about your appearance. If you feel insecure and ugly, this can be passed on to your husband. In addition, on the hundredth question about whether you are fat or not, he may get angry and answer yes. And this will naturally lead to a scandal. Therefore, do not ask stupid questions – even if there are problems with appearance, they can be solved. In the end, if your husband loved you and got married, then now you need to love yourself.