Why external seductiveness can be repulsive and what excites most men, sex coach Ekaterina Bibisheva told VOICE.

Ekaterina Bibisheva

Who do you imagine when you hear the phrase “sexy woman”? Surely before your eyes there is a nymph in a lace dressing gown on a naked body, with flawless curls and juicy scarlet lipstick. I almost forgot about the heels that make the legs infinitely long, and the stockings – always in a fine mesh! If you’re nodding your head in approval now, I’ve got some sensational news for you: all these provocative “tricks” are not about sexuality at all.


Why lace and stockings might not work?

We often confuse the external attributes of attractiveness with the internal mood – we equate sexuality with sex appeal. But in fact they are completely different things. Sex appeal is screaming sex, when a woman shows with her whole appearance how hot she is. Oddly enough, such an image can give a polar effect: a man is repelled by an image that is too bright, especially when complexes and self-doubt are hidden behind it.

Sexuality, on the contrary, is not so bright on the outside, but glowing inside. A sexy woman may not wrap her body in satin and lace, but at the same time she excites even with a look, with every movement, with herself. Sexuality is a story about enjoying your body, confidence and self-love. If your sexuality is developed, the excitement of a man will simply go off scale.



Arousal triggers that will fire up a man in bed

The excitation of a man, as I said, lies in deeper planes than a leopard mini and flashy makeup. Here is a list of 10 sexuality ingredients that turn on almost all males.

Complete acceptance of your body

When you love your body, you feel more free, relaxed, and you demonstrate this confidence to a man. It is she who excites him. Accepting and loving your body means listening to your desires, rejecting criticism and praising yourself, pampering yourself with quality food and clothing. Through this total acceptance comes excitement from yourself, which your partner reads.

girls exciting men

What are they, girls that excite men? First of all, accepting your body.



Men love it when a woman is not shy in bed, touches herself without shame and shows how to caress her. Only you yourself know your erogenous zones, and only you can take a tour of your body for a lover. Such “walks”, no doubt, will not leave him indifferent.

your pleasure

There is a harmful sexual stereotype in our society: all a man is looking for in bed is pleasure for himself. In fact, more than his orgasms, he gets turned on by yours. If you regularly finish sex without simulation, your partner will be drawn to you like a magnet.

Progress in sex

Trying new practices, adding variety to caresses, looking for new sensitive areas of the body – this is what it means to open up in bed. At the same time, such discoveries made together bring partners together and allow you to talk about intimate things without hesitation. By the way, most men are very excited about talking about sex. Do not be silent, but boldly say what you want. Tell him about your secret fantasies and, of course, make them come true together!



How to excite a man

How to excite a man? Talk to him about sex and don’t be afraid to experiment and live out your fantasies.

Experiments with the “third” in bed

And the third will be an ideal lover who lives on a shelf in an intimate store. Vibrating toys, stimulants, sex cosmetics will complement your intimate life and bring exciting colors to it.

New role models

Everything unknown and new attracts men. So why don’t we women start changing in bed more often? Trying on various roles, you will always remain elusive, mysterious and exciting for your partner. Such a woman wants to study and achieve again and again.



It is erroneously believed that a man is constantly ready for sex. This is not always the case. With age, stress and the frantic pace of life are increasingly affecting men. Before going to bed, the partner needs to be “warmed up”: freed from energy “garbage”, help to switch to a sexual way. The right atmosphere, subdued light, aroma oils and, of course, a relaxing erotic massage help in this.

exciting for men

Foreplay is needed not only for a woman. Men also need time to switch from daytime problems to sex.




Men are, for the most part, hunters by nature. But even a hunter sometimes wants to relax. They long for the woman to take the first step towards the bed and feel free to initiate various experiments.


When a partner is comfortable with you, he is not ashamed to be vulnerable, he is not afraid to open up to you in sex. He knows that you will not judge him for secret desires and even support him in them. All this not only turns on, but also allows you to save passion for many years.

Elastic intimate muscles

My favorite joke about this: why pump the buttocks when you can train the muscles of the pelvic floor? After all, what is outside is not as important as what is inside.

Trained muscles give much more than beautiful abs or hips. Performing intimate gymnastics regularly, you improve blood circulation in the pelvic organs, they work correctly, you increase the amount of natural lubrication, and your arousal grows. This is only a physiological aspect.


From an emotional point of view, intimate gymnastics allows you to feel even sexier, let go of internal stoppers and open up in sex. And how many incredible abilities gymnastics opens up!

For example, you can master the famous Singapore Kiss technique. By contracting the intimate muscles, you will simultaneously perform the breathing practice of uddiyana. A man feels at this moment something like an internal vacuum. A woman who knows how to do this will always excite her lover!